Jokes can be another method to learn about English and culture. Here are a few for your enjoyment.
1. “An abstract noun,” the teacher said, “is something you can think of, but you can’t touch it. Can you give me an example of one?”
“Sure,” a teenage boy replied. “My father’s new car.”
2. A guy told his friends: “I left my job because of illness and fatigue.”
Turns out, his boss got sick and tired of him.
3. A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend’s house.
The host deftly carved the turkey and said, “I’d make a pretty good surgeon, don’t you think?”
The surgeon replied: “Anybody can take it apart. Let’s see you put it back together again.”
4. A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
“My goodness!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that
was stomped on by an elephant. Are you okay, ma’am?”
“Why, yes, officer, I’m just fine,” the lady chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the lady began. “I was driving along
this road when I started to doze off. When I woke up this tree from out of
nowhere pops up in front of me.
“Why, yes, officer, I’m just fine,” the lady chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the lady began. “I was driving along
this road when I started to doze off. When I woke up this tree from out of
nowhere pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was….”
“Uh, ma’am,” the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this
road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth on
your rear view mirror.”
road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth on
your rear view mirror.”
5. ”Dad, I think the Smiths next door are angry at us.”
“Why is that?”
“They’re probably mad because our dog can retrieve the newspaper, and theirs can’t.”
“How could you possibly know that? We don’t even subscribe to the paper.”
“Yeah, that’s probably got something to do with it, too.”
“How could you possibly know that? We don’t even subscribe to the paper.”
“Yeah, that’s probably got something to do with it, too.”
If you cannot understand one of the jokes, please ask and I’ll explain it.
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